This week I learned that Zombies are real and want to make dinner out of me.  The only way to kill a zombie is to tear off its arm and beat it over the head.  After you knock it down you fill its mouth with salt and sew it shut.  Then you cut off its head.  I told my daughter "if you see a Zombie, tear off it's arm while I run to get the salt and the sewing kit.
I also heard that space aliens are coming after us.  They also want us for a main course.  I intend to sic Ittsy Bittsy, my dog, on them.  She is a 2 pound Chihuahua but heck, space aliens are just little green men. Right?
Then there is the NEW WORLD ORDER that is run by giant lizards that wants to  take away my country and enslave me.  I think the coming ice age will take care of them.  They are cold blooded creatures so they will freeze and we can just break them into pieces.
Planet X is on its way and will be here in 2012.  It will cause earthquakes, floods, exploding volcanoes.  It has been here before and mankind survived by going to the tops of mountains or underground.  If you see it coming, start digging.  If you start now you can have a pretty deep hole by 2012.
Then there are the bloodsuckers, the chubacabras, banksters and IRS.  I haven't figured
out how to handle them yet so stay away from them.
I guess the best thing to understand is that life always has something out there that can get you. So make the best of everyday you have. Enjoy the laughter of children, listen quietly to a story told by an old person.  You just might learn something. Feel the sunshine on your face, give someone a helping hand, and smell a rose or two. Then if these bad things happen at least you will have had a life well lived.  As for me, if you need me I will be underground with my dog, some salt and the sewing kit. 
Just kidding.
Trish